Baby Phobia

So I was sitting here tonight writing a serious blog post and Travis started doing the same.  I guess he was doing a little "research" because he started watching videos on YouTube.


Suddenly, I heard this baby mobile song chiming.  Then a mother singing sweetly to her baby.  And then some ominous minor chords stalking behind the sweet major chords of the baby music and my heart began to race.


It's doing it right now, in fact, just from writing about it.


My blood got cold...I mean hot...shoot, I don't know!


I knew what it was.  It was one of those killer baby movies.  The ones where the baby or the kid or the doll is a freak of nature, demon-possessed, horrifying monster that goes around killing everyone.  Omgosh, the images are killing me!!!  I am SO glad I'm not in the house alone because I would never be able to get up off this couch and go to the bathroom!


Chucky is the worst.  He totally freaks me out!!!  I have never seen any of the Chucky movies because the previews were too much for me to handle.  Even THINKING about that (deep breath) (shutter) (ok, gonna have to say this fast) stupid doll with a knife pointed at me and demon eyes (deep breath) makes me shutter deep inside.


Oh, man I need to finish this post.  This is totally freaking me out.


It all started when I was a kid.  At some slumber party I watched Friday the 13th.  Some time later a show came out called Friday the 13th about a man that owned an antique store and some of his antiques were haunted or possessed or magical.  It intrigued me.  The show wasn't really all that scary, which disappointed me, but there was this one...


(Another deep breath.  I may have to get the paper sack out soon.  Ok, that was my first exaggeration.)


The antique shop owner (sole owner and only employee, by the way) bought this doll...a very special doll.  A beautiful one with a lacy white dress and sweet blond curls.  She was very beautiful...


...until night fell.  And then she would come alive, scramble down the bookshelf (Omgosh, that gives me the chills!!!), and spend a night on the town killing people.  I don't know how she was able to keep blood off her pretty, white dress and somehow she got the blood stains off her face before the shop owner came back.


(This post is killing me.  Oh...not the word to use right now.)


That is when all the dolls in my room became evil.  I had to put all their faces to the floor, get them off my bed, and pretend they weren't there.


Now, I buy dolls for my girls, but I must tell you that I deserve an award for buying Amazing Amanda.  First of all, I don't know why anyone would want to spend more than $30 on a play doll, but Travis has a hard time resisting his girls (me included). When Rebecca opened it on Christmas morning, I braced myself.


When we put the batteries in, I braced myself.


When we turned her on and she said, "Hello, Mommy!"  I was done!  I was NOT going to program this doll.  She's a freak, I tell you!


And sometimes she talks in the middle of the night.  That's just not right.


Then there was this movie about a mutated baby.  The mom is in the delivery room, having a hard labor.  The doctors and nurses get this awful look on their faces and the mother starts gushing over her baby.  Suddenly, the gushing turns to screams as her baby tears her to pieces with his teeth.


Ok, what sick mind came up with that?  That is just WRONG!  I couldn't watch it.


Babies and dolls are not supposed to kill people.  Period.


So, there is Travis with his laptop and freaky music with baby jingles playing and the next thing I hear is a


SCREEEEEEEEEEAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!


And so I let out a


SCREEEEEEAMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!


And Travis caught it all on video.  You know, I'm not feeling any pity for him right now.  Poor husband, indeed.  Hmph!