I will leave you with a thought from, "How People Grow," by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. I highly recommend this book and any other book by them.
"No matter how many times I read that I'm forgiven, I just don't feel like it, " Stephen said. "I know the Bible tells me God accepts me. I know it in my head, but I can't feel it in my heart."
"What have you tried to do to change that?" I (Henry) asked.
"Well, I've tried memorizing verses and focusing on how God loves me and accepts me. I just have to believe it more, I guess."
"So, you think you can't feel it because you don't believe it?"
"Well, I guess so. That's what my friends tell me. They say if I don't feel God's forgiveness, I'm not taking Him at His word. It comes down to a lack of faith, I guess. I need to believe Him more."
"Do you disbelieve Him?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, do you have any reason to doubt God forgives you? Do you not believe it?"
"No, I believe it. He says so. I just can't feel it."
"Well, then, why do you say you need to believe it more? Why do you think it's a 'believing' problem if you already believe it?"
"Because my friends tell me the Bible says the truth will set you free, and if I don't feel free from guilt, then I don't know the truth. That's why I think I need to believe the truth better."
"Well, you're partly right," I said. "The Bible does say that the truth will set you free, but it doesn't say that knowing the truth comes from believing it better. Jesus says it comes if we 'keep obeying my teachings' (John 8:31-32). In other words, if you live out all He said, you will 'know' the truth. That's a lot different from just getting information into your head."
"How do I do that? How do I live in a way that will fix this?"
Don't get caught in the lie that there is an easy fix to the problem of not feeling forgiveness. Don't just read more, pray more, cry more. SEEK.