The Story That Started It All

I invited my Facebook friends to add the My Poor Husband Page to their account.  Some of them are wondering what in the world this is about, so rather than have my hairy armpit be the first thing they see on my blog, I thought it would be wise to let them know how this all started.  If you look on the right-hand sidebar, you will see an archives section where you can browse past stories.  Feel free to hang out for awhile and add a few laughs to your day.  If you're so inclined, add the My Poor Husband Page to your Facebook account and pretend that the box on the top right doesn't say "fan", but "interested party," or "person who thinks Rachael is nuts", or "I just wanted to see my face in that box."  I hate the word "fan."

Here ya go.  The story that started it all...

The SECOND Time I Drove Off With the Gas Pump

I was pumping gas and talking on my cell phone to my poor husband, Travis. (Pumping gas while talking on the cell phone. Doesn't that cause brain tumors or something?) I finished pumping, got in the car, and continued my conversation with my poor husband, Travis. Suddenly, there was a loud THUMP and SCRAPING of the pavement. Did my muffler just fall off? Did I run something over? Did I...oh, no.  I couldn't possibly have...oh, yes I did!

I forgot to remove the gas pump from my car!!!

I did NOT want Travis to know what I had done, so I couldn't slam on my breaks and go tell Chevron what happened. That would get the kids' attention and they would no doubt tell on me.

I kept driving.

As I was rounding the corner, trying to find a place to park and act natural, the owner of the place started running toward the car yelling, "Stop! Stop!" I'm still talking to Travis mind you, and so I could not yell back, "I'm parking! I'm parking!" I waved at the guy, who started running faster and yelling louder. The guy caught up with me, pulled the hose from my gas tank and yells, "You could at least give me my pump back, " and all the while I'm still talking to Travis on the cell phone, trying to act as if nothing is going on so Travis wouldn't suspect.

Eventually I found a way to get off the phone and then I went inside and assured the guy that I was not planning on driving off with his pump. He took my number and I never heard from him again...

...until today. Is it because he finally got around to calling me? Oh, no. Not in Rachael's world. I did it...(sigh) again!

It's a Curse, I Tell Ya!

I love Facebook!  It's so much fun to reconnect with people and it's a nice, quick way to keep in touch.  Some people make fun of this, but I like knowing that my friend, Rachel just canned 40-something cans of figs and that Patti wants to trade her kids in.  I enjoy hearing what one friend is hearing the guy next to him at the airport say about the Illuminate and I just love knowing that Matt loves his wife, Felicia.  Most of our friendships in life are nurtured during the mundane times.  They may become rock solid during times of crisis, but most of our time spent together is in the mundane.  I treasure those mundane posts.

Yesterday I reconnected with a friend that I haven't talked to since I was 15. It was so nice to reminisce and remember all those funny things we did as kids and to see how we have changed.  It was nice to hear what he was like as a "grown-up."  But mostly it was just nice to be connected again.

We instant messaged each other on Facebook for awhile, but I had to put a bit of time in at work today.  Once the kids were all ready and begging to leave, I asked him for his cell number and gave him a call.  We talked while I drove on my way to the gas station.

This is when I should have hung up.  Gas station...cell phone... You would think I would have remembered.  But no.  In fact, Robert (my old friend) and I joked about how I was "living on the edge" to use a cell phone while pumping gas.  Something about static electricity.  I even told him about how I drove off with the gas pump three times.  He didn't laugh.  He paused for a second and said, "...three times?"

I laughed, ran my card, turned to put the gas pump in my car, then realized I had forgotten to take the gas cap off.  Now, I'm holding a cell phone in one hand and the gas pump in the other.  I could have said something like, "Hold on," but that would have been too obvious an answer to this dilemma.  I'd never figure that out!  No, I put the gas pump under my arm and then unscrewed the gas cap.

I secured the pump with that little thingy that holds it in the "pump position" and continued my conversation.  I like to wash my windows while I wait for the gas to pump.  I cleaned the back window...and yes, I'm still talking on my cell phone.  I turn to check and see if my gas was done pumping and was surprised to see that it was done so quickly.  How nice!

I put the pump back.

Let me say that again.  I PUT THE PUMP BACK!!!  You're proud of me, aren't you!

I just have to say it one more time.  I put the pump back, screwed the gas cap on, got in my car, and drove off.  All the while, talking on my cell phone.

It's about 10 minutes to my work from the gas station and when I was oh, 3 minutes away, I glanced down to see a little orange light.  WHAT?  I'm out of gas?  Impossible!!!

That's when it hit me.  I forgot to pump the gas!!!  I didn't intend to (ok, who would actually intend to), but apparently I put the gas pump in the "pump position" and didn't make sure it was actually pumping gas!  Uh.... oops!

Robert got a bit of a chuckle out of that one!

So, as I told myself I would, I have to ask, "So, Rachael, what are you going to do about it?"  That's an easy one...

No more pumping gas while talking on the cell phone!

To iPhone or Not to iPhone

I stand at the crossroads.

My poor husband is not such a poor husband anymore.  He's got a fancy, new iPhone.  The man who kept his free phone for 4 years regardless of the fact that he was eligible for a free upgrade now has an iPhone.  And he looks so darn cool with it.  I look over and I think, "Forget the cars, that phone is a total chick magnet!"

Now, here I stand with no cell phone because...well...I think we know that story.  I feel stuck because I have this really old wireless plan at $30/month and now when I get those mailers that try to entice me with a "free" upgrade, it says that I have to upgrade my plan, as well.  Same plan, new price.  That' $10 more per month.  Even I can do the Math and see that the little free phone they offer me will actually cost me $120 a year.  That's $240 over the life of the 2-year contract I have to sign.

And now if I want a smart phone, I MUST also get the $30/month data plan.   And I can't get the data plan without upgrading my plan to the new price.  So, that leaves me with a stupid phone (wouldn't that be what you call one that's not smart?) but I have to pay full price for it.  Uhhh..no.  That's a lot of money!  Or I can buy a prepaid phone, but that will be $100 bucks because I want bluetooth.

There's craigslist of course.  I looked, but there's the whole it-has-to-be-an AT&T phone and all that jazz.

Oh, and I can't get insurance...which we have figured out is actually worth the monthly price in my case...without (I'll bet you can guess) upgrading my plan.

You know, I say upgrading the plan, but really it's just upgrading the price.

Now, interestingly enough, my laptop is going out.  Over half of my monitor is now covered in a pretty plaid design and I have minimized this window to, oddly enought, about the size of an iPhone screen just so I can type this post.  The whole scrolling back and forth thing is really getting old.

So I have to wonder...

If I keep this laptop and don't buy another, would it pay to buy an iPhone? I want the iPhone.  Travis says that if I can keep a junky (his word, ,not mine) cell phone for 2 years without losing it then he'll feel justified in buying me a fancy phone.

Can I make it work?  A few salespeople out there are tying to make it so.  What should I buy?

Yes, boring post tonight.  I'm a little OCD about this cell phone business right now!