As I have mentioned before, I teach Music at a PreK-8 school. Best job I've ever had!!! Besides the kids, the Christmas musical and the Spring musical are my two favorite parts of my job.
Well, O.K., I lied. But Tuesday night around 8pm it will be true again! You see, in 2 days we "go live." All 90 or so kids will be on stage, smiling and looking adorable, realizing the fruit of their labor. And while the best part of the whole thing is the final bow, the few days before the program are, well...in a word, stressful.
This is the 11th musical I have directed at Pacific Coast Christian Academy and after experiencing 9 of them, I discovered that there was a certain rhythm to this whole thing. Just as predictable as a lively song to start the program and just as predictable as the preschooler in the front row picking his nose, so are the stages of putting on a musical.
Stage 1: Research
It all starts with the question, "What are we going to do this year?" It follows with browsing the internet, looking for musicals that are cute enough to make the audience smile and "cool" enough for junior high kids to sing. (Not always attainable, but you try.) You choose a few that have good sound bites and look entertaining and then order the preview pack. (A choral book and CD packaged together at a very reduced rate. It's like bait only it doesn't smell bad.)
Stage 2: Discovery
You get the bait in the mail and start popping CD's in. You're simply listening to see if this is the program. It only takes 5 minutes or less per CD to decide. If I'M bored in the first 5 minutes, the audience certainly will be! No use in listening to the whole thing. NEXT!
Stage 3: Deliberation
While deciding whether a certain program makes the cut or not takes 5 minutes or less, deciding which one of those that made the cut will be THE ONE takes a bit more deliberation. Is it TOO predictable? It the title hopelessly cheesy? Can Kindergarten handle the music? Is it too cutesy for Junior High? Will the audience love it because if not, I'll be judged accordingly. How complicated is the drama and can the kids handle the parts that are played by grownups on the CD? What kind of message does it send?
Stage 4: Decision
After weighing all the options, I choose the one that excites me most. Most of the questions I asked myself above are completely unnecessary because in the end, because I'll pretty much just improvise it all, anyway. Whatever obstacle appears, I'll figure it out. But not yet because I must enter stage 5.
Stage 5: Glorious Excitement
I love stage 5! Oh, the thrill of creativity!!! I pop that CD into my car and listen to it over and over again. As I listen to the drama, I am creating the props, visualizing the staging, dreaming up costumes, and coming up with my own interpretations. I'm tearing up at all the sappy parts and singing cheerfully to that first lively song. So many ideas run through my head. It's like a drug. A natural high. A most happy place where life is a hall of mirrors that reflect such beautiful light in all the shades of the spectrum. It surrounds you and lifts you and you just want to skip through a field, only you couldn't skip because you'd be floating. There is nothing else except for newly opened lilies and hummingbirds...
and...well, until someone calls, "MOM!" from the backseat.
Stage 6: Tryouts
This is such a fun stage! Seeing those 3-8th graders get up in front of their peers and saying their lines or singing a solo is incredible and I stand taller because of them. You have to admire the ones who seem to have no fear, but you have to especially admire and respect the ones who are frightened out of their wits, voices quivering, hands shaking, and determined to finish because they are more afraid of not doing what they set out to do than they are of standing there in front of everyone. Right there. That's where I stand taller.
Stage 7: Casting
I don't care to dwell too much on this stage. It's painful. Only a few kids will get the part they really wanted and there are always a few parents who aren't happy with my decisions. Yeah, it's painful.
Stage 8: Rehearsal
We sing, sing, sing and sing some more! Well, actually we've been singing since the start of stage 5, but this is where we begin to rehearse the drama, as well. Oh, my this is fun! This year's musical has been especially fun. The drama is just over-the-top hilarious and one of our kids knows how to work an audience really well. He's a total crack up!
This stage is also a lot of fun because I get to take quiet, reserved children and turn them into little acting machines. It's fun to watch them at the first rehearsal, arms crossed, head down, barely audible...and compare it to the last rehearsal where they are loud (or at least louder), arms are moving about freely, head is up, and they begin to walk taller as they glide down the school halls, proud of what they've accomplished and feeling bonded with the other actors. There is nothing like the bond of fear, hard work, and universal accomplishment.
Stage 9: Freak Out
It's how many more days until THE day? What?!? Are you sure??? Uhhh...am I as far along as I need to be? Should I freak out right now? No? Oh, well, too late.
Stage 10:
This is where I am right now. This is the most horrible stage of putting on a musical. Horrible is a bad word. Horrifying might be a better one. It is only mere days before the program and everything is suddenly overwhelming. All the weak spots are glaringly obvious, all the things that have been procrastinated on have come due, and all the extra space left in my schedule is now completely full and overflowing. You're still freaking out because you can't for the life of you see how everything that needs to get done will get done and doggoneit, those kids better memorize those lines! Fred's sick and can't make rehearsal? Which parent am I calling back today? What else needs to be coordinated?
I was tempted to make this another step, but I think dress rehearsal needs to stay in Stage 10. Oh, dress rehearsal... I get the whole, "You gotta do it so you can see where all the holes are and what needs to be fixed," but we only get one rehearsal on the actual stage we do our program on and it's not your normal dress rehearsal. It's far worse than that. We can't do our programs our own building because we can't fit 300 people plus the kids in our own chapel, so dress rehearsal becomes a field trip to the church we are renting, thus allowing us approximately 2 hours to do it "just like we're going to do it live!"
(forced laugh)
What really makes dress rehearsal difficult is that ALL the teachers are watching, the staff of whatever church building we are renting are watching, and all the parents who drove kids on this field trip are watching. This is their first impression and it is always a mess! The program is what everyone judges my performance on. Whether or not I'm viewed as a good teacher or not depends 90% on how the program goes. Overall, it's a very small glimpse into what I do. Teaching is a complex art. Somehow you're supposed to take a subject that 1/3 of your class is interested in, make 99% of them like it, find a way to engage 20 kids...at the same time!...who are all incredibly different and make sure they know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are loved, good grade or not...that's a better measure of my value as a teacher. But, reality is, all most parents see is the show. So when they are watching the dress rehearsal and seeing all the most minute mistakes, it's a little unnerving. I begin to say to myself, "That's it! After this I'm done! I'm so unqualified, I've made so many mistakes, the school will look bad because of me, and why am I doing this to myself, anyway? I'm so tired...so very, very tired."
But Stage 11...
Oh, glorious, most wonderful Stage 11!
The show starts at 7pm sharp. (Well, except for the one time I lost a kid's costume and ran back home and then back to my office to find it, but I'll have to tell that story later!) By 7:10 the welcomes are complete and all the kids are assembled on the stage. The crowd hushes, the children take a deep breath, and then the music plays. Suddenly the kids and I are in a world of our own making. This is what we've visualized in our heads for so long and now we are living that moment. First scene, second scene, fourth song, fifth song...they fly by like the telephone poles on the highway. Before we know it, the musical is done and we are standing there, taking our bow, and basking in the glow of Stage 11.
I can be no prouder than when the audience is clapping, yelling "Bravo!", standing to their feet, and giving their kids what they desire most in life...the look of acceptance and pride on their parents' faces. No, there is no better moment when it comes to putting on a musical.
This is when I answer the question I asked myself earlier.
"Why do I do this to myself?"
Because you love it, Rachael. You love watching these kids. You love seeing them shine. You love seeing them proud of themselves. You love watching a kid who is struggling in school do something he never knew he was good at. You love seeing the kid who was having a hard time being accepted by his peers suddenly the center of their praise. You love watching the teacher's faces as they gain an even deeper appreciation for what his or her student is capable of. You love the hugs. You love hearing, "You're my favorite Music teacher" (even if I am the only one). You would be unfulfilled if you never did this again, knowing that you are missing the opportunity to make a difference.
Bring on the next musical!
(Here's last year's Christmas musical." Feel free to click on parts 2-6 as well!)
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
It's a Curse, I Tell Ya!
I love Facebook! It's so much fun to reconnect with people and it's a nice, quick way to keep in touch. Some people make fun of this, but I like knowing that my friend, Rachel just canned 40-something cans of figs and that Patti wants to trade her kids in. I enjoy hearing what one friend is hearing the guy next to him at the airport say about the Illuminate and I just love knowing that Matt loves his wife, Felicia. Most of our friendships in life are nurtured during the mundane times. They may become rock solid during times of crisis, but most of our time spent together is in the mundane. I treasure those mundane posts.
Yesterday I reconnected with a friend that I haven't talked to since I was 15. It was so nice to reminisce and remember all those funny things we did as kids and to see how we have changed. It was nice to hear what he was like as a "grown-up." But mostly it was just nice to be connected again.
We instant messaged each other on Facebook for awhile, but I had to put a bit of time in at work today. Once the kids were all ready and begging to leave, I asked him for his cell number and gave him a call. We talked while I drove on my way to the gas station.
This is when I should have hung up. Gas station...cell phone... You would think I would have remembered. But no. In fact, Robert (my old friend) and I joked about how I was "living on the edge" to use a cell phone while pumping gas. Something about static electricity. I even told him about how I drove off with the gas pump three times. He didn't laugh. He paused for a second and said, "...three times?"
I laughed, ran my card, turned to put the gas pump in my car, then realized I had forgotten to take the gas cap off. Now, I'm holding a cell phone in one hand and the gas pump in the other. I could have said something like, "Hold on," but that would have been too obvious an answer to this dilemma. I'd never figure that out! No, I put the gas pump under my arm and then unscrewed the gas cap.
I secured the pump with that little thingy that holds it in the "pump position" and continued my conversation. I like to wash my windows while I wait for the gas to pump. I cleaned the back window...and yes, I'm still talking on my cell phone. I turn to check and see if my gas was done pumping and was surprised to see that it was done so quickly. How nice!
I put the pump back.
Let me say that again. I PUT THE PUMP BACK!!! You're proud of me, aren't you!
I just have to say it one more time. I put the pump back, screwed the gas cap on, got in my car, and drove off. All the while, talking on my cell phone.
It's about 10 minutes to my work from the gas station and when I was oh, 3 minutes away, I glanced down to see a little orange light. WHAT? I'm out of gas? Impossible!!!
That's when it hit me. I forgot to pump the gas!!! I didn't intend to (ok, who would actually intend to), but apparently I put the gas pump in the "pump position" and didn't make sure it was actually pumping gas! Uh.... oops!
Robert got a bit of a chuckle out of that one!
So, as I told myself I would, I have to ask, "So, Rachael, what are you going to do about it?" That's an easy one...
No more pumping gas while talking on the cell phone!
Yesterday I reconnected with a friend that I haven't talked to since I was 15. It was so nice to reminisce and remember all those funny things we did as kids and to see how we have changed. It was nice to hear what he was like as a "grown-up." But mostly it was just nice to be connected again.
We instant messaged each other on Facebook for awhile, but I had to put a bit of time in at work today. Once the kids were all ready and begging to leave, I asked him for his cell number and gave him a call. We talked while I drove on my way to the gas station.
This is when I should have hung up. Gas station...cell phone... You would think I would have remembered. But no. In fact, Robert (my old friend) and I joked about how I was "living on the edge" to use a cell phone while pumping gas. Something about static electricity. I even told him about how I drove off with the gas pump three times. He didn't laugh. He paused for a second and said, "...three times?"
I laughed, ran my card, turned to put the gas pump in my car, then realized I had forgotten to take the gas cap off. Now, I'm holding a cell phone in one hand and the gas pump in the other. I could have said something like, "Hold on," but that would have been too obvious an answer to this dilemma. I'd never figure that out! No, I put the gas pump under my arm and then unscrewed the gas cap.
I secured the pump with that little thingy that holds it in the "pump position" and continued my conversation. I like to wash my windows while I wait for the gas to pump. I cleaned the back window...and yes, I'm still talking on my cell phone. I turn to check and see if my gas was done pumping and was surprised to see that it was done so quickly. How nice!
I put the pump back.
Let me say that again. I PUT THE PUMP BACK!!! You're proud of me, aren't you!
I just have to say it one more time. I put the pump back, screwed the gas cap on, got in my car, and drove off. All the while, talking on my cell phone.
It's about 10 minutes to my work from the gas station and when I was oh, 3 minutes away, I glanced down to see a little orange light. WHAT? I'm out of gas? Impossible!!!
That's when it hit me. I forgot to pump the gas!!! I didn't intend to (ok, who would actually intend to), but apparently I put the gas pump in the "pump position" and didn't make sure it was actually pumping gas! Uh.... oops!
Robert got a bit of a chuckle out of that one!
So, as I told myself I would, I have to ask, "So, Rachael, what are you going to do about it?" That's an easy one...
No more pumping gas while talking on the cell phone!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
What You Cannot NOT Talk About" Part 2: Worship. That Goes Deeper
Earlier this month I led the music portion of our worship service. The pastor told me what he was preaching on and I went to work.
I like to spend time reading the scriptures he tells me he's going to use. I inevitably wind up travelling all over the Bible, reading things that relate. That and finding myself fascinated on a word or phrase that leads me to so many rabbit trails that I begin to wonder if I should start chewing hay and carrots!
This particular Sunday I was fascinated with the phrase, "fire on the altar," specifically God sending that fire on the Old Testament altars. I had chosen "Not To Us," for the first song, simply because I had just introduced it to the congregation the week before and knew I needed to do it another week in order to solidify it in their heads. As I was singing the song in my head, the second verse suddenly grew an arm from my laptop and slapped me on the head.
"Send Your holy fire
"On this offering."
Whoa! God? Is that You speaking?
Then, I chose the second song blandly based on the fact that it was an upbeat song and I needed an upbeat song. Then, my laptop grew an arm and I got slapped upside the head again.
"Hear the joyful sound
"Of our offering
"As Your saints bow down
"As Your people sing."
Let me show you why I felt slapped on the head.
1 Chronicles 21:21-26
And as David came to Ornan, Ornan looked and saw David, and went out of the threshingfloor, and bowed himself to David with his face to the ground. Then David said to Ornan, Grant me the place of this threshingfloor, that I may build an altar therein unto the LORD: thou shalt grant it me for the full price: that the plague may be stayed from the people.
Ok, in modern English. David needs a nice, flat place to build an altar. He talks to Ornan, who happens to have a nice, flat place to build an altar, and offers to buy it. Ornan says something like, "DUDE! You're like, the KING of Israel. You can have it!" to which David replies, "Look, man. This is for God. I'm not going to 'sacrifice' if it's not much of a sacrifice, you know? I'm not going to even make an offer for less than what it's worth. I'm going to pay you FULL PRICE!"
And Ornan said unto David, Take it to thee, and let my lord the king do that which is good in his eyes: lo, I give thee the oxen also for burnt offerings, and the threshing instruments for wood, and the wheat for the meat offering; I give it all. And king David said to Ornan, Nay; but I will verily buy it for the full price:
So Ornan, who doesn't seem to be too comfortable with this, says, "Ok, fine. Not gonna argue with the King! Duh! But I'll give you the oxen and all that other stuff you need for the sacrifice." David's like, "No, seriously. I'm buying that, too...for full price!"
I love this part:
...for I will not take that which is thine for the LORD, nor offer burnt offerings without cost.
So David gave to Ornan for the place six hundred shekels of gold by weight. And David built there an altar unto the LORD, and offered burnt offerings and peace offerings, and called upon the LORD;
David pays for it, builds the alter, and puts the sacrifice on it. This is where someone usually prays and then fires up the altar. But you have to check this out... oh, man, the chills are coming already!
and he answered him from heaven by fire upon the altar of burnt offering.
GOD, yes GOD, sent fire FROM HEAVEN, I tell you. FROM HEAVEN!!!
"Send Your holy fire
"On this offering
"Let our worship burn
"For the world to see."
I'm thinking that Ornan was no longer bowing before David, but before the King of all Kings. Oh, it makes me want to bow myself right now. Seriously.
That's just one scripture. The next one has me wanting to yell and bow at the same time!
Leviticus 9:22-24 And Aaron lifted up his hand toward the people, and blessed them, and came down from offering of the sin offering, and the burnt offering, and peace offerings.
And Moses and Aaron went into the tabernacle of the congregation, and came out, and blessed the people:
and the glory of the LORD appeared unto all the people. And there came a fire out from before the LORD, and consumed upon the altar the burnt offering and the fat: which when all the people saw, they shouted, and fell on their faces.
Did you catch that? Once again, GOD, yes GOD sent the fire! And what did the people do when they saw it? They went ALL CAPS and fell "Facedown" in worship! I...I...I'm speechless! I'm with them, right there with them, wishing there was no one else in this room right now so that I could lay on this floor I'm sitting on with my face smelling the dirty carpet and wetting it with my tears. And yet, I just feel like jumping and throwing my hands in the air and yelling, "LORD, YOU ARE HOLY!"
So I finish up my song set, type in some lyrics, turn on my iPod, and begin practicing the songs. I'm totally raising my hands while singing, "Send Your holy fire on this offering," and tears are making my voice crack.
I get through that song and then begin the next one. You know, the one I chose simply because it was upbeat. I'm getting into it, clapping my hands when I get to this part...
"Hear the joyful sound
"Of our offering
"As Your saints bow down
"As Your people sing."
Ok, I'm done. Undone is more like it. There's no way I can keep singing this song...
...and I've just had a better worship service than I've had in a very, very long time.
Not everyday is like this and certainly not every time I put a worship service together. I find myself "Going Through the Motions," way too many times because I'm tired, feel like what I do is pointless, get in a hurry, and pretty much just try to give God what I get for free. But when I seek God, He is always to be found and when God allows me the opportunity to worship Him through His Word, combined with Music, I...I...I have no words.
Worship. It goes deep.
I like to spend time reading the scriptures he tells me he's going to use. I inevitably wind up travelling all over the Bible, reading things that relate. That and finding myself fascinated on a word or phrase that leads me to so many rabbit trails that I begin to wonder if I should start chewing hay and carrots!
This particular Sunday I was fascinated with the phrase, "fire on the altar," specifically God sending that fire on the Old Testament altars. I had chosen "Not To Us," for the first song, simply because I had just introduced it to the congregation the week before and knew I needed to do it another week in order to solidify it in their heads. As I was singing the song in my head, the second verse suddenly grew an arm from my laptop and slapped me on the head.
"Send Your holy fire
"On this offering."
Whoa! God? Is that You speaking?
Then, I chose the second song blandly based on the fact that it was an upbeat song and I needed an upbeat song. Then, my laptop grew an arm and I got slapped upside the head again.
"Hear the joyful sound
"Of our offering
"As Your saints bow down
"As Your people sing."
Let me show you why I felt slapped on the head.
1 Chronicles 21:21-26
And as David came to Ornan, Ornan looked and saw David, and went out of the threshingfloor, and bowed himself to David with his face to the ground. Then David said to Ornan, Grant me the place of this threshingfloor, that I may build an altar therein unto the LORD: thou shalt grant it me for the full price: that the plague may be stayed from the people.
Ok, in modern English. David needs a nice, flat place to build an altar. He talks to Ornan, who happens to have a nice, flat place to build an altar, and offers to buy it. Ornan says something like, "DUDE! You're like, the KING of Israel. You can have it!" to which David replies, "Look, man. This is for God. I'm not going to 'sacrifice' if it's not much of a sacrifice, you know? I'm not going to even make an offer for less than what it's worth. I'm going to pay you FULL PRICE!"
And Ornan said unto David, Take it to thee, and let my lord the king do that which is good in his eyes: lo, I give thee the oxen also for burnt offerings, and the threshing instruments for wood, and the wheat for the meat offering; I give it all. And king David said to Ornan, Nay; but I will verily buy it for the full price:
So Ornan, who doesn't seem to be too comfortable with this, says, "Ok, fine. Not gonna argue with the King! Duh! But I'll give you the oxen and all that other stuff you need for the sacrifice." David's like, "No, seriously. I'm buying that, too...for full price!"
I love this part:
...for I will not take that which is thine for the LORD, nor offer burnt offerings without cost.
So David gave to Ornan for the place six hundred shekels of gold by weight. And David built there an altar unto the LORD, and offered burnt offerings and peace offerings, and called upon the LORD;
David pays for it, builds the alter, and puts the sacrifice on it. This is where someone usually prays and then fires up the altar. But you have to check this out... oh, man, the chills are coming already!
and he answered him from heaven by fire upon the altar of burnt offering.
GOD, yes GOD, sent fire FROM HEAVEN, I tell you. FROM HEAVEN!!!
"Send Your holy fire
"On this offering
"Let our worship burn
"For the world to see."
I'm thinking that Ornan was no longer bowing before David, but before the King of all Kings. Oh, it makes me want to bow myself right now. Seriously.
That's just one scripture. The next one has me wanting to yell and bow at the same time!
Leviticus 9:22-24 And Aaron lifted up his hand toward the people, and blessed them, and came down from offering of the sin offering, and the burnt offering, and peace offerings.
And Moses and Aaron went into the tabernacle of the congregation, and came out, and blessed the people:
and the glory of the LORD appeared unto all the people. And there came a fire out from before the LORD, and consumed upon the altar the burnt offering and the fat: which when all the people saw, they shouted, and fell on their faces.
Did you catch that? Once again, GOD, yes GOD sent the fire! And what did the people do when they saw it? They went ALL CAPS and fell "Facedown" in worship! I...I...I'm speechless! I'm with them, right there with them, wishing there was no one else in this room right now so that I could lay on this floor I'm sitting on with my face smelling the dirty carpet and wetting it with my tears. And yet, I just feel like jumping and throwing my hands in the air and yelling, "LORD, YOU ARE HOLY!"
So I finish up my song set, type in some lyrics, turn on my iPod, and begin practicing the songs. I'm totally raising my hands while singing, "Send Your holy fire on this offering," and tears are making my voice crack.
I get through that song and then begin the next one. You know, the one I chose simply because it was upbeat. I'm getting into it, clapping my hands when I get to this part...
"Hear the joyful sound
"Of our offering
"As Your saints bow down
"As Your people sing."
Ok, I'm done. Undone is more like it. There's no way I can keep singing this song...
...and I've just had a better worship service than I've had in a very, very long time.
Not everyday is like this and certainly not every time I put a worship service together. I find myself "Going Through the Motions," way too many times because I'm tired, feel like what I do is pointless, get in a hurry, and pretty much just try to give God what I get for free. But when I seek God, He is always to be found and when God allows me the opportunity to worship Him through His Word, combined with Music, I...I...I have no words.
Worship. It goes deep.
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